Monday, August 9, 2010

The Many Adventures of Mark the Manatee and Associates

Mark the Manatee lived on the bottom of the ocean, which was kind of odd because manatees don't usually live on the bottom of the ocean, but Mark was unique, so he lived down there with the jellyfishes and the carpet sharks and the underwater rhinoceroses.
 One day, Mark found a treasure chest. He tried to open it, but it was locked. So he tried kicking it and it flew open 'cos it wasn't really locked after all. Inside the chest was a dictionary. Mark decided to look up dirty words, 'cos he thought it would be a better use of his time than what he had planned for the day, which was grocery shopping. So, after a full day of looking up words like "vagina" and giggling immaturily, Mark decided to go to bed.
 That night, Mark the Manatee had a dream about bath mats. He dreamt that when people stepped on them, it hurt them and they needed to be saved. When he woke up, he decided to dedicate his life to liberating bath mats. Mark got in his special boat that took him to the surface. When he unsubmerged, he noticed a kite in the sky, which made him forget all about his mat crusade. Mark jumped up and grabbed onto the kite, which had been abandoned by its owner.
 Mark the Manatee rode that kite to Mexico, and when they got there, Mark said "Gracias!", but the kite didn't understand him because it was Cuban, so it just flew back to Cuba, where it waited for its next dictator to die, apparently, according to Farce of the Penguins.
 But anyway, back to the story. After he was unable to find Speedy Gonzales, Mark the Manatee realised that Mexico was not all it was cracked up to be, so he decided to head north, to New Mexico. When he got there, he went to the set of Kid Nation, but then he remembered he was a manatee, so he wasn't allowed on the show. But then, Mark ate the leader of the Red District, and everyone was happy. As a reward, they made Mark the new leader of the Red District, and he became allies with the Blue District. Together, the two districts did all the things that Red & Blue like to do together, like look good on superhero costumes.
 After a while of being awesome, Mark the Manatee decided to leave Kid Nation, and travelled to Nevada. On his way to Las Vegas, Mark accidentally discovered Area 51. But before he could run away, scientists in white coats mistook him for an alien and captured him, 'cos manatees is butt-ugly.
 The scientists locked Mark up in a cell to be studied later. Just when Mark feared that all was lost, Wizard Whitebeard, or Dumbledore, or maybe Gandalf ... anyway, some wizard (but probably Dumbledore) appeared and sprung him out of his cell.
 Once he was free, Mark went to Vegas and won a fortune in a game, his life would never be the same. Soon after, Mark the Manatee bought a mansion in California, and kissed his money every night before bed.
THE END
Also, he got a racecar.  
A few years ago a minor fad hit Aussie networks in the form of late-night quiz shows. The least terrible of these shows was probably the localised version of Quizmania, which aired well after midnight.
 One night I was lying in bed watching Quizmania, and I don't recall exactly what the quiz was, but the answers that had to be guessed were all four-letter words. So people were calling in to make their guess and one guy said "Mark". And now you see where this is going. I made Mark a manatee pretty much solely because of the alliteration, and from there on, everytime someone called in with a word, I incorporated it into the story.
 Before long the narrative arrived at a natural conclusion, so I jumped out of bed and jotted it all down while it was still fresh in my mind. As of now I have no memory of which words the story was shaped around, but "bath" and "kite" are two likely candidates. The content and themes of this story are largely a product of its time, with multiple references to things I'd seen in the previous week or so.
 This was actually written several months before I started making Masterpieces. I just remembered that I had it lying around and figured I'd put some literature on deviantArt.

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